This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize