you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
