what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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