Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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