Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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