I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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