Duck Duck Cougar?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
