Whod you bang
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
