dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
