I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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