im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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