Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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