Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
