there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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