He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
