there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
