forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Bring me that man meat
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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