4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
