Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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