what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
