Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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