Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
