This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
