i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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