I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
