I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
