dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i will never coherently bang her
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
