You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
