someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
