You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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