guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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