Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
