I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
