he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
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He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Mom said you looked used
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
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i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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