Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
