I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
