Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
