If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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