I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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