you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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