i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
