I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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