you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
organizing the empties. That sober.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
