and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
