and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
