This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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