Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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