Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
