are you still at the devil's house?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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