i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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