this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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