We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
