I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
