I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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