Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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