i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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